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 A Place To Smile and Laugh

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AuthorMessage
tcleo13
marshall
marshall


Number of posts : 80
Location : Setapak, KL
Registration date : 14/08/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Mon Apr 21, 2008 1:53 pm

The Why's of Men afro
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)


2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)


4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)


6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)

And the personal favorite:


8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)


Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart


A good laugh will do that for you.


One for the ladies !!!!


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted
to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '
And they say blondes are dumb...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if
I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


* Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
beat him to death.
AMEN
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men
.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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qbee125
marshall
marshall


Number of posts : 84
Age : 35
Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga
Registration date : 25/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:13 pm

KERETA vs ABANG

dear abang,

ayang nak mintak kebenaran abang untuk bawa anak-anak balik ke
kampung. abang tak perlu hantar ayang sebab ayang mampu untuk bawa
anak-anak ke kampung musim cuti sekolah ni dengan bas.. abang jaga lah
diri abang dan kereta abang baik-baik.... cuma ada perkara yang ingin
ayang luahkan disini...
kereta baru abang tu mahal.. harga mencecah 100k barangkali..
sebab tu abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang..
sampaikan abang dah terlena dalam kereta abang tu sejak abang beli 3
bulan yang lalu dah masuk 3 malam...
abang sayangkan kereta abang lebih dari ayang, nak tau ngape?

harga kereta abang tu lebih mahal dari wang hantaran yang ayah ayang
letakan masa kita kahwin dulu.. cuba hantaran ayang lebih mahal dari
harga kereta abang?

tiap-tiap pagi abang mesti gosok kereta abang, nak nampak
berkilat..tapi ayang nak dapat kiss g.morning pun susah

sejak beli kereta tu, sebulan sekali macam-macam aksesori abang beli
kat kereta, ayang nak dapat hadiah besday setahun sekali pun susah..

kereta sebulan sekali abang servis, abang kata kena jaga
maintainance..ayang nak dapat pi salon setahun sekali pun susah..

kereta abang make up lawa-lawa.... tapi kalau ayang make up lawa-lawa
abang kata ayang tak sedar diri

kereta abang bagi makan minyak mahal-mahal cecah 100 setin pun ada,
ayang nak makan pizza sekeping jer masa mengidam anak kedua kita abang
kata ayang mengada-ngada

kereta abang kalau anak-anak sentuh sikit bodynya abang marah anak
macam nak makan, ayang jatuh longkang besar boleh abang gelak

paling menyedihkan... ayang tanya ngape tidur dalam kereta? abang jawab
takut orang curi kereta abang.. kalau ayang kena curi??

ayang nak balik kampung dulu.. anak-anak nak jumpa atuk dengan nenek
depa... tak nak naik kereta abang takut calar.. ayang calar takpe..
jaga diri elok-elok, sarapan ayang dah sediakan. ayang pi tak lama
sekolah bukak ayang balik lah dengan anak-anak.. pesanan ayang..

ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU MASAKKAN MAKAN KESUKAAN ABANG
ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU BASUHKAN PAKAIAN ABANG
ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU GOSOKAN KEMEJA ABANG
ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU SIAPKAN AIR MANDI ABANG
ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU KEMASKAN RUMAH ABANG
ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU URUT-URUT BADAN ABANG
ABANG SURUHLAH KERETA ABANG TU TEMANKAN ABANG TIDUR

love,
ayang


sambungan kereta vs ayang

Dear Ayang,

bukanlah abang sayang keta tu lebih dr ayang.. tapi ayang kene faham
keta tu keta bos abang nnti kalau ilang sapa nak ganti.. ayang abang suruh
keja ayang xnak, ayang kata nak dok umah jaga anak,nak siap kan sarapan
nak
kemas umah tapi ayang tiap2 hari bgn tido kul 12.. macam mana nak wat keja
umah.. cuba lah ayang pk mana x abang tido dalam keta.. abang balik keja
lambat skit ayang dah kunci pintu...bukan nye abang gi foya2 kan abang
gi keja...lagi satu pasal piza yang ayang ngidam tu.. ayang nak piza yg di
oder dr jepun.. mana lah abang ada duit nak oder.. abang nak bg apam balik
yg jual kat depan ofis abang ni ayang xnak, ayang nak jugak piza dr
jepun..
nasib baik abang x belikan kalau x anak kedua kita tu mesti muka cam
doremon..ish xnak laa abang.. pasal hadiah kan abang dah belikan tapi
abang sembunyi kan kat dapur.. ayang yang tersalah buang ingatkan sampah..
tu
lah abang suruh kemas umah tu ayang kata umah kita dah bersih tapi hadiah
dgn sampah pun dah jadi serupa jek..hadiah tu mahal tau abang beli untuk
ayang..
sebenarnye abang sayang ayang lebih dr keta tu wlau pun hantaran masa
kita kawin cuma rm80k..ayang x tau bpe kali abang turun naik bank nak wat
loan rm80k..tapi demi ayang abang wat jugak..
sbb masa tu ayang kalau mekup mmg sebijik maya karin.. tapi sejak ayang
wat rebonding 3 tahun lepas stp kali ayang mekup abang terbayang lak muka
pontianak dlm citer phsm.... bukan ayang x cantik tapi kening ayang tu gi
cukur wat per.. wlau pun abang selalu cukur janggut abang tapi ayang
xyah laa nak cukur kening ayang tu...pasal morning kis tu, ayang bgn pun
dah
tghri nak morning kis cam mana.. dah laa ayang... abang malas nak
citer..
tapi abang nak bg tau jgk kat sini ayang tetap no 1 dlm hati abang..
nanti kalau naik bas tu bebaik.. ayang nak balik kpg abang izinkan cuma
jgn
lupa kim salam kat mak ayah kat sana ... kalau ada gulai tempoyak ke nnti
jgn
lupa bwk balik skit.. kalau ada lembu terlepas ke ayang xyah laa susah2 gi
kejar lembu tu... biar jek... nnti abang balik kpg abang kejar kan ..bukan
apa
takut lembu tu tanduk ayang nnti bukan stakat calar jek silap2 leh masuk
hspital..
abang kene tanduk xpe.. jaga anak2 baik2 jgn bagi diorang main kat
sungai musim2 banjir ni.. nak dpt anak bukan senang takut nnti ayang
ngidam
lagi piza jepun lak lagi haru.. baik jaga jek yg dah ada tu..ayang pun
jaga
diri baik2.. jgn sampai jatuh longkang lagi.. hehe.. abang mmg xnak ketawa
masa tu tapi nak wat cam mana ayang jatuh kepala dulu yang masuk
longkang..dah laa rambut ayang masa tu baru lepas rebonding.. mmg abang
kesian tapi
muka ayang lepas jatuh longkang tu xleh abang nak bayang kan cam
mana....tgk
laa sendiri gambar tu….

ok lah ayang.. nnti lepas cuti skolah kita jumpa lagi eah.. bye ayang

love,
abang
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Corazón Roto
roadkill
roadkill


Number of posts : 487
Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español!
Registration date : 15/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:45 pm

What a Face What a Face

aiyaaaa... macam-macam kerenah lepas kawin da......
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hafizazzim
hell blazer
hell blazer


Number of posts : 521
Location : one step only
Registration date : 13/08/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:55 pm

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday
night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces
to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like
to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he
takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He
tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms
and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how
many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack,
or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack
because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being
his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's
parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh,
I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on
in,' she said.

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner
table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy
quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in
prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and
still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20
minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans
over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea
you were this religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'And I had no
idea your father was a pharmacist.

moral of the story - get to know your girlfriend's father first lol! lol! lol!
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qbee125
marshall
marshall


Number of posts : 84
Age : 35
Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga
Registration date : 25/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:50 pm

No speakah de english

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated Conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention Is Galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
'Emma come First. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, They come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one Lasta Time.' The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig.' She Retorted indignantly. 'In this country, we don't speak aloud on Public Places about our sex lives.' 'Hey, coola down lady, ' said the man. 'Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a Justa Tellin my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi ','


Bet you're gonna read this again!
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hafizazzim
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hell blazer


Number of posts : 521
Location : one step only
Registration date : 13/08/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Thu May 15, 2008 1:41 pm

Bila din balik kerja, isterinya suruh ke pasaraya untuk membeli
barang-barang dapur. Jadi pergilah si din membeli semua barang-
barang yang dipesan.

Bila pulang ke rumah, isterinya mengambil beg-beg plastik dan
membawa keluar semua barang untuk disimpan. Isteri terjumpalah satu
tin marjerin. Di luar tin tu ada tulis ... FREE...
Isteri tanya si din, mana benda yang 'FREE' ini? Kenapa tak ambil?
Din katalah lupa hendak meminta benda itu tadi. Maka isterinya pun
menyuruh si din pergi semula ke pasaraya tersebut untuk menebus
benda 'FREE' itu.

Din pun pergilah membawa tin planta tadi jumpa jurujual untuk
menebus benda 'FREE' yang tertulis. Bertengkarlah din tadi dengan
jurujual terbabit. Jurujual itu kata benda 'FREE' itu ada dalam tin.
Din kata mana boleh, dalam mesti tak ada punya.Dia terus meminta
dari jurujual.

Penyelia yang kebetulan lalu di situ dan terdengar pertengkaran
mereka. Apabila ditanya, dia pula dimarahi oleh si din tadi. Si
din berkenaan minta juga benda 'FREE' dari penyelia itu. Din tadi
tunjuk tin planta yang ada bertulis 'FREE' itu. Supervisor tadi belek
kanan belek kiri tin planta tersebut. Dia membaca tulisan berbahasa
Inggeris itu ..CHOLESTEROL FREE...!!!
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hafizazzim
hell blazer
hell blazer


Number of posts : 521
Location : one step only
Registration date : 13/08/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:48 pm

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.
Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss ) make call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.
Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .
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ujang6009
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Number of posts : 712
Location : Di mAnA aKu riDe, Di SiTulAh tMpTku
Registration date : 15/11/2007

PostSubject: Full Bar Coverage   Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:11 am

Full Bar Coverage

Handphone ataupun telefon bimbit secanggih mana pun tidak berguna sekiranya coverage tak ada kan . Di dalam lif dan basement tempat parking kereta merupakan antara kawasan 'pantang' bagi handphone (hp). Ini kerana di tempat-tempat tersebut coverage hp amat rendah sehingga 1 bar dan kadang-kadang tiada langsung!

Bayangkan sekiranya anda berada dalam situasi yang yang cemas dan amat memerlukan pertolongan. Tetapi hp mahal anda itu tidak dapat melaksanakan tugasnya dengan cemerlang. Tentu anda mempunyai sebab munasabah untuk berasa kecewa dan menyesal bukan???

Ini satu informasi untuk anda dan sesiapa sahaja yang menggunakan hp 1G, 2G ataupun 3G. Dengan menggunakan wang kertas RM2 sahaja anda boleh mendapatkan full bar untuk hp walaupun di mana sahaja anda berada.

Ini kerana wang kertas RM2 mempunyai satu elemen untuk 'boost up' coverage hp anda. Mungkin anda berasa sedikit hairan. Tetapi percayalah ini merupakan satu kenyataan yang tidak boleh dinafikan!!!

Kaedah ini sesuai untuk semua pengguna 013, 016, 019, 012, 017 dan sebagainya.


Caranya ( Perhatian ila baca dan ikuti langkah-langkah ini dengan teliti) :

Langkah 1 : Off atau matikan hp anda.

Langkah 2 : Lipatkan wang kertas RM2 menjadi sama saiz dengan bateri hp anda.
Kemudian selitkan duit yang telah dilipat tadi bersama bateri hp anda.

Langkah 3 : On atau hidupkankan semula hp. Periksa bar pada hp anda. Semasa hp anda on, pastikan kod 'ID. 10T' tertera pada skrin hp anda.

Sekiranya kod 'ID. 10T' tertera di skrin, hp anda tidak akan mengalami masalah coverage lagi!




*Sila ambil perhatian;

Sekiranya kod 'ID.10T' tidak tertera pada skrin, sila periksa sebuah satelit yang besar di belakang wang kertas RM2 tersebut.

Pastikan sama ada satelit tersebut berfungsi dengan baik atau tidak.





Sekiranya masih tidak berjaya, sila ketuk-ketuk sikit hp anda dengan duit RM2 tu sekali. Sila periksa samada tengkolok Agong jatuh ataupun tidak. Kedudukan tengkolok yang tidak stabil mungkin penyebab mengapa kod 'ID.10T' tidak muncul di skrin hp anda.

Kalau masih tidak berjaya hentakkan hp di dahi anda 10 kali.

Mungkin kod 'ID.10T' dah bertukar menjadi 'IDIOT' ! Sape tahu yer tak??

Jgn marah kalau dah terkena......
Nasib baik duit RM2 tak dicetak lagi. Kalau tidak, lagi ramai yg fikir benda ni betul-betul...tapi cobaan.....[img][/img][img][img][/img][img]
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hafizazzim
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hell blazer


Number of posts : 521
Location : one step only
Registration date : 13/08/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:40 pm

Pada zaman dahulu kala, ada 3 orang Don.

Mereka selalu bersama kemana saja mereka pergi. Tapi ke-tiga2nya memiliki
kegemaran berlainan.
A Don Dino (suka main perempuan).
B Don Dono (suka minum minuman keras).
C Don Din (suka segala jenis rokok) .

Suatu hari ketiga sahabat ini berjalan jalan tanpa tujuan. Tiba2
ketiganya bertemu dengan sebuah ketel/kendi (seperti cerita Aladin).
Lalu salah seorang mengambilnya lalu meng-gosok2kan ketel tersebut.
Sejurus kemudian asap keluar dari corong ketel tersebut dan secara
perlahan berganti menjadi satu makluk yang menyeramkan yakni
seekor/seorang (?) jin yang ganas.Lalu jin tersebut tertawa: "Ha ha ha
.." dan berkata"Akulah Jin Ifrit !

Karena kamu telah membebaskan aku dari ketel itu maka aku akan tunaikan
apa saja permintaan kamu sekalian. !!" Ketiga sahabat yang pada mulanya
panik dan takut menjadi gembira lalu termenung dan ber! pikir tentang
peluang dan kemauan masing2 yang mungkin sekali dalam seumur hidup. Lalu
mereka memilih kemauan mengikuti kegemaran masing2.

Berkata si A,"Aku mau perempuan2 muda dari berbagai bangsa di seluruh
dunia dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan ganggu aku
selama 10 tahun." Pufff ........!! dengan sekejap mata jin itu
menyempurnakan permintaan si A.

Berkata si B,"Aku mau semua jenis arak dari seluruh dunia untuk bekal
selama sepuluh tahun dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan
ganggu aku selama 10 tahun." Pufff ........ !! dengan sekejap mata jin
itu menyempurnakan permintaan si B.

Berkata pula si C,"Aku mau semua jenis rokok dari seluruh dunia untuk
bekal selama sepuluh tahun dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan
jangan ganggu aku selama 10 tahun." Pufff .......... !! dengan sekejap
mata jin itu menyempurnakan permintaan si C.

Setelah genap 10 tahun, maka jin tersebut muncul kembali untuk membuka
pintu gua masing2 sebagaimana yang dijanjikan.
Maka jin tersebut pergi membuka pintu gua si A, ketika dibuka maka
keluarlah si A dengan keadaan kurus kering, berdiri pun tidak bisa
karena tidak sanggup untuk menggerakkan lutut sebab hari2 hanya
memuaskan nafsu dengan perempuan.Tiba2 si A pun jatuh ketanah lalu mati!!

Setelah itu jin tersebut pergi ke gua si B, ketika pintu dibuka maka
keluarlah si B dengan perut yang sangat buncit karena hari2
mabuk2an.Jalan pun terhuyung-hayang. Tiba2 si B pun jatuh ketanah lalu mati !!

Setelah itu jin pergi ke gua si C dan membuka pintu gua. Tiba2 si C
keluar dalam keadaan sehat walafiat dan terus MENAMPAR si jin. Sambil
me- maki2 si jin ia berkata :

JIN GOOOOOBLOOOKK ...!!!! lighter nye MANAAAAAAAAA ...???!!


moral of the story : rajin usaha tangga kejayaan.... lol! lol! lol!
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Corazón Roto
roadkill
roadkill


Number of posts : 487
Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español!
Registration date : 15/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:45 am

BRA SIZES (as defined by bikers!)

Did you ever wonder why A, B, C, D, E, & F are used to define bra sizes?

A - Almost boobs
B - Barely there
C - Can do
D - Darn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake

Razz
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Corazón Roto
roadkill
roadkill


Number of posts : 487
Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español!
Registration date : 15/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:03 am

The Heart Surgeon and the Motorcycle Mechanic

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage,
"Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,

"So, Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ...

"Try doing it with the engine running!"

Smile
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hafizz
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Location : Setapak, KL
Registration date : 26/08/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:37 pm

Body: *Murid* : Selamat pagi, Cikgu.


> > *Cikgu* : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja?
> > Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?
> >

*Murid* : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam Cikgu!
> > *Cikgu* : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh
> > orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan
> > penuh
> > bermakna.

Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua
> > masa dan keadaan.


> >

*Murid* : Selamat sejahtera Cikgu!
> > *Cikgu* : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik.


> > Hari ini Cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang
> > perkataan
> > berlawan.

Bila Cikgu sebutkan perkataannya,
> > kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan
> > bagi
> > perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?
> > *Murid* : Faham, Cikgu!
> >

*Cikgu* : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.


> > *Murid* : (senyap)
> > *Cikgu* : Pandai!
> > *Murid* : Bodoh!
> > *Cikgu* : Tinggi!
> > *Murid* : Rendah!
> > *Cikgu* : Jauh!
> > *Murid* : Dekat!
> > *Cikgu* : Keadilan!
> > *Murid* : UMNO!
> > *Cikgu* : Salah!
> > *Murid* : Betul!
> > *Cikgu* : Bodoh!
> > *Murid* : Pandai!
> > *Cikgu* : Bukan!
> > *Murid* : Ya!
> >

*Cikgu* : Oh Tuhan!
> > *Murid* : Oh Hamba!
> > *Cikgu* : Dengar ini!
> > *Murid* : Dengar itu!
> > *Cikgu* : Diam!
> > *Murid* : Bising!
> > *Cikgu* : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!
> > *Murid* : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!
> > *Cikgu* : Mati aku!
> > *Murid* : Hidup kami!
> > *Cikgu* : Rotan baru tau!
> > *Murid* : Akar lama tak tau!
> > *Cikgu* : Malas aku ajar kamu!
> > *Murid* : Rajin kami belajar Cikgu!
> >

*Cikgu* : Kamu gila!
> > *Murid* : Kami siuman!
> > *Cikgu* : Cukup! Cukup!
> > *Murid* : Kurang! Kurang!
> > *Cikgu* : Sudah! Sudah!
> > *Murid* : Belum! Belum!
> > *Cikgu* : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?
> > *Murid* : Sebab saya seorang pandai!
> > *Cikgu* : Oh! Melawan!
> > *Murid* : Oh! Mengalah!
> > *Cikgu* : Kurang ajar!
> > *Murid* : Cukup ajar!
> > *Cikgu* : Habis aku!
> > *Murid* : Kekal kami!
> >

*Cikgu* : O.K.

Pelajaran sudah habis!
> > *Murid* : K.O.

Pelajaran belum bermula!
> > *Cikgu* : Sudah, bodoh!
> > *Murid* : Belum, pandai!
> > *Cikgu* : Berdiri!
> > *Murid* : Duduk!
> >

*Cikgu* : Saya kata UMNO salah!
> > *Murid* : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!
> > *Cikgu* : Bangang kamu ni!
> > *Murid* : Cerdik kami tu!
> > *Cikgu* : Rosak!
> > *Murid* : Baik!
> >

*Cikgu* : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!
> > *Murid* : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!
> >

*Cikgu* : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.

)
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hafizz
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Number of posts : 662
Location : Setapak, KL
Registration date : 26/08/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:46 pm

Peribahasa: Lembu punya susu, Nestle dapat nama.


Maknanya: Macam mana keras bekerja pun, macam mana nya canggih idea kita
pun, last last, boss jugak yang dapat nama.

Apakan tidak, kat dalam
management meeting, mana kita tau apa yang boss khabarkan kat ketua boss.



Peribahasa: Melepaskan batuk didalam lift.


Maknanya: Helo! Kalau nak lepaskan penyakit atau kuman tu carilah tempat yang sesuai! Jangan lah
tempat awam yang ter-enclosed.

Besar nya hamlau!

Peribahasa: Seperti anjing jantan dgn anjing betina.


Maknanya: Dua orang yg pantang bertemu...asek nak beromen aje.



Peribahasa: Sepandai-pandai lalat terbang akhirnya ketaik jugak dia hinggap.


Maknanya: Orang kalau dah perokok tu...kalau dia berenti....akhirnya dia gerenti start balik punyer.



Peribahasa:Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, tak pernah masok ke sukan Olimpik jua.


Maknanya: Jangan macam bagus....pasal yg macam bagus tu lah selalunya tak bagus.



Peribahasa: Biar putih tulang jangan kuning gigi.


Maknanya: Macam mana nya hensem ke, macho ke, hero ke, kalau gigi tu tak jaga,
kuning-berkarat, jangan lah eksen kental nak tackle pompan. Geli-geman di buat nya.



Peribahasa: Kalau tidak ader angin masakan satu LRT boleh bau busuk?
Maknanya: Ada orang kentotlah tu...

Peribahasa: Seperti kacang luperkan mamak kacang putih.


Maknanya: Orang yg tak sedar diri....tak kenang jasa baik orang yg muler-muler memfofularkan dia.



Peribahasa: Ader udang di sebalik udang lain
Maknanya: Jgn sangka yg duduk sorang kat tempat sunyi tu sorang....check betul-betul, mesti ader
sorang lagi...... kat bawah ke....kat tengah ke...tengah baring ke....

Peribahasa: Biar mati anak jgn mati pucuk
Maknanya: Kalau dah mati pucuk camner nak dapat anak......bro!!!!

Peribahasa: Sudah jatuh ditimpa piano <-- Klassik siak!
Maknanya: Nasib malang yg tak agak-agak.



Peribahasa: Hidung tak mancung, gigi pulak yang mancung.


Maknanya: maknernyer . . maknernya............. Jgn nak tersengeh2 kat depan PC. Pi ah buat keje...

chowww...
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Corazón Roto
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Number of posts : 487
Location : Río de bambú. mis compañeros amigos! Estoy aprendiendo español!
Registration date : 15/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:02 pm

ini apa kasik cerita pelajaran+cikgu ni... mementang lah engko nih cikgu... tapi kira macam kasi ilmu secara indirect la kot?
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hafizz
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Number of posts : 662
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:51 pm

ini nama dia hiddent curicculum, (kurikulum tersembunyi), dlam pedagogi pengajaran dan pembelajaran, tidak semestinya semua input di sampaikan secara direct lesson (pembelajaran secara terus), adalah di sarankan supaya pelbagai method atau corak pengajaran dipelbagaikan bukan saja dari segi penyampaian tetapi pendekatan secara induktif serta interaksi dua hala amat digalakkan bagi menjamin input yang disampaikan terus kepada pelajar.

Prof Ir Dr Rumbha Al Pianist
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Corazón Roto
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Registration date : 15/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:12 pm

Smile Smile

you got the point there my man! you really did...

hidup golongan pengajar...!!! sebab abang Long aku pun seorang Guru jua... beliau sentiasa menjadi idola aku....
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qbee125
marshall
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Number of posts : 84
Age : 35
Location : lumut , shah alam , sepanga
Registration date : 25/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:22 am

A farmer named Seamus had a car accident.

>> In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was
>> questioning Seamus.
>>
>> 'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the
>> accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
>>
>> Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what
>> happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into
>> the...'
>>
>> 'I didn't ask for any details,' the solicitor
>> interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not
>> say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
>> fine'!?'
>>
>> Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the
>> trailer and I was driving down the road...'
>>
>> The solicitor interrrupted again and said, 'Your
>> Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the
>> scene of the accident, this man told the police on the
>> scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the
>> accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a
>> fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
>>
>> By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in
>> Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor:
>> 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his
>> favorite cow, Bessie.'
>>
>> Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I
>> was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into
>> the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge
>> lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my
>> trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and
>> Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad
>> like, I didn't want to move. However, I could hear old
>> Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible
>> shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a
>> policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie
>> moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After, he
>> looked at her and saw her condition, he took out his gun
>> and shot her between the eyes.
>>
>> Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand,
>> looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
>>
>> Now, what the f*ck would you say?'
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qbee125
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Number of posts : 84
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Registration date : 25/09/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:23 am

>> A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because
>> there's a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't
>> figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up,
>> and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball
>> bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun.
>>
>> 'Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up
>> onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball
>> bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little
>> dog will bite him in the balls until he's
>> incapacitated. '
>>
>> 'Great,' says the man. 'But what's the
>> gun for?'
>>
>> 'In case I fall down instead of the gorilla --- shoot
>> the dog.' Laughing Laughing
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qbee125
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:20 am

Mengapa hanya gadis melayu di rasuk?

Kes ini berlaku betul diruang pelajar perempuan membasuh kain.Berlaku
diasrama puteri. Kebanyakan yang terkena rasukan adlah gadis melayu dan
tidak pernah ada kes berlaku pada pelajar kaum cina danindia . Di mana
salah nya........Kita ikuti percakapan antara bomoh melayu dan syaitan.
kes histeria disekolah kat BSB......
Misteri di Asrama Puteri terjawap!
Suatu hari, ada seorang ketua bomoh yang begitu berani hendak
berjumpa dengan sekumpulan jin yang berlegar2 di asrama hinggakan mereka
merasuk sebilangan pelajar di sekolah itu.
Ketika sampai di sebuah bilik, ketua bomoh pun membaca sejenis mantera.
Selepas membaca mantera, ketua bomoh pun memanggil ketua jin itu. Lalu
ketua jin itu pun datang.
Dengan menunjukkan wajah rupanya yang begitu hodoh dan jijik.
Hinggakan ketua bomoh yang begitu berpengalaman itu pun hampir2 pengsan
dibuatnya! Hinggakan mayat reput pun lebih baik dari wajah si ketua jin
itu!!!
Tapi si ketua bomoh tetap kuatkan semangatnya yang jitu. Lalu si
ketua bomoh pun bertanya dengan kuat dan nyaring, menampakkan semangatnya
yang tidak kendur walaupun terlihat sesuatu yang begitu menakutkan itu.
"Mengapa kau rasuk pelajar sekolah di sini hah? Jawap!!!"
Kenapa gadis melayu jadi sasaran kau wahai syaitan yang direjam"
Dengan menarik nafas panjang, si ketua jin pun menjawab...
""Siapa Bilang Gadis Melayu Tak Menawan
Tak Menarik Hati, Tiada Memikat"
"Kalaulah Memang, Tak Mungkin Aku Tertarik
Kalaulah Sungguh, Tak Mungkin Aku MERASUK...""
""Aduhai... kekekeekeeee. .."" Very Happy
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kupu2merah
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:14 pm

hiii bro ni posa2 pun melawak scratch
tak baik ketawa terbahak2 nanti kurus posa tau Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:26 pm

lol! adus jin pun main pilih2 gak eh affraid
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lee VKings@Lanun troopers
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:12 am

Salamzzz.... sempena dibulan ramadhan al mubarak nih.... aku ada secebis riwayat nak dikongsikan bersama kengkawan sekelian alam.... renung-renungkanlah......

Barang siapa MANDI JUNUB disubuh yg dingin iaitu sebelum IMSAK untuk mengerjakan solat & puasa....Nescaya mereka tergolong dalam golongan org2 yang MENGERJAKAN iterinya malam tadi.... Hadis Riwayat ALI CAFE & POWER ROOT..... Theeehehehehehe.... lol! lol! lol! ..... Jangan marah hah..... cheers Sleep Sleep Sleep
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ujang6009
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Registration date : 15/11/2007

PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:50 am

bukan dah sms kat aku ke lee???
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lee VKings@Lanun troopers
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:36 pm

Yeup Mr Ujenglut...mmg aku dah sms kan ke serata kengkawan aku yg boleh terima sms seadanya.... dan aku masih nak berkongsi lg dgn sumer warga V'Kians..... kehkehkeh..... scratch lol! scratch
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hafizz
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:04 am

lee VKings@Lanun troopers wrote:
Yeup Mr Ujenglut...mmg aku dah sms kan ke serata kengkawan aku yg boleh terima sms seadanya.... dan aku masih nak berkongsi lg dgn sumer warga V'Kians..... kehkehkeh..... scratch lol! scratch

aku dah terima niat mandi junub sempena bulan ramadan nih....tq mr lee lanun
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PostSubject: Re: A Place To Smile and Laugh   Today at 6:14 am

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